The Puppeteer's Commands and Demands

The Puppeteer's
Commands and Demands


For the Puppet

-You must run any music you want to add to your Ipod by me before you load it. I need to make sure it is appropriate.
-You are not allowed to communicate with your ex girlfriend unless I am present.
-You are not allowed to see or communicate with your ex girlfriend’s children.
-You are not allowed to communicate with your ex wife except in matters pertaining to your children. Even then it must be very limited and it must be approved, edited or written by me. Responses to questions she asks are not necessary. Any attempt by her towards friendship or a civil relationship will be ignored.
-You may not have any friends that I do not approve of.
-You must open all doors for me. I will wait in the car or by the door if you forget until you return and open it for me.
-You must give up hobbies that I don’t approve of. For instance, you are no longer allowed to enjoy Nascar. I find the sport loud and distasteful.
-If you have memorabilia relating to such hobbies, you must rid yourself of that clutter.
-You are not allowed to go to your favorite restaurant, Texas Roadhouse. It is too loud in there.
-You may not go bowling, it is too loud.
-You may not watch TV. It fills your mind with junk and is not necessary. Nor are you allowed to let your children watch TV when they are with you.
-You must accompany me at my every whim. If I demand for you to be by my side, you must obey.
-You may not spend money on anything that is not approved by me.
-You may not entertain your children any longer with trips to do things and especially if it costs you monetarily. They do not respect you and do not deserve it.
-You must find me cute when I obnoxiously yell at your son’s sporting events, embarrassing him and his teammates.
-You must attend every group I instruct you to go to. You must attend religiously and faithfully. You may not pick your own groups, you must go to the ones I pick for you.
-You may not help your children out with needless activities that are scheduled out of your control on your weekends with them. Examples include sitting with them so they can raise money for Camp Fire. Allowing them to attend birthday parties or church functions (unless of course, they are for my church).
-You may not, under any circumstance, help your ex wife out financially beyond what is spelled out in the divorce agreement.
-You may not perform any Godly acts for her to help her out either. She can find someone else to do needed repairs around the house.
-I will be allowed to discipline your children at any time and in any way as I see fit.
-Your children will not be allowed cell phones, they are too young.
-You may not leave your children home alone even though by law they are old enough for you to do so. I believe they are too young. If for some stupid reason you make a serious error in judgment and leave them home, I will call them every 10 minutes on the second to check in on them. You are to instruct them if they do not pick up the phone when I call that you will impose serious consequences.
-You will not help with your children’s activities during the week or spend any time with them during the week. You will be too busy in the groups I have assigned you.
-(Assumed) You will study your bible religiously every day. You will spend xx number of minutes/hours in prayer. You will not deter from your schedule. You must obey the laws of God or He will strike you down. It’s all about performance. And you will perform to what I perceive to be HIS standards.
-(Assumed) You must worship with overwhelming joy in church no matter how you feel. It’s all about performance and you must perform up to the standards expected of you. If you don’t, God will be displeased with you and He will punish you. And I will definitely be displeased with you.
-If for any reason, you run into your ex-wife at your child’s school for something like lunch, you may not stay if she is eating with her child as well. I will demand to go with you on occasion to make sure you are following this rule. You must not be in her company under any circumstances. She is a sinner.
-When you do not do what I want and I rightfully become angry with you, I will not talk to you. Or I will storm out. Or I will push you and become physical. You will not retaliate in any way.
-You may not eat red meat any longer. You must not eat chicken with the skin on. It also must be grilled or baked. You may not drink skim milk as it is bad for you. You must drink soy milk instead. You may not eat peanuts, they are bad for you. You must follow my dietary guidelines.
-You will not visit your family without me.
-Any attempts by anyone to get you out of this relationship with me will be immediately squashed. All of those people who act like they are interested in your best interests are being led by Satan. Do not pay attention to them. Only listen to me. I know what is best for you.
-You are not to ever be stronger than I am spiritually. You must continue to work towards my level of spirituality but never surpass me.
-You must allow me to make up for the mistakes I made with my own children which resulted in my loss of custody of them with your children.



For the puppet’s children

-You must obey your father even if you find his demands unreasonable.
-You must respect your father whether he deserves it or not.
-You must respect me and obey my commands.
-You will not watch TV. It is not good for you and pollutes your mind with junk. It is also sinful.
-You may not play football in the house or in any way act like boys. I do not like it when you play football in the house.
-You must open all doors for me. I demand this respect. If you do not I will stand there or sit in the car until you do.
-You must stand up, wave your arms, sing and act like you are enjoying yourself when we attend worship and praise at church. You are not allowed to sit down through this. It’s all about performance. You must perform for God or He will be displeased with you and you will be punished.
-You must not mess up my apartment in any way. If you do, there will be consequences. You may not drop anything on the carpet, leave smudges in the bathroom, etc. You will treat my living space with the same respect I expect from you.
-You will keep the space you have at your father’s house neat and tidy at all times. If at any time, it is not obsessively neat and clean, you will spend hours cleaning it until it is.


For the puppet’s ex-wife

-You will not have a beer or glass of wine on occasion. It is a sin. I have instructed your children in the wrongness of your actions.
-You will not schedule any activities for your children on the weekends they spend with their father. He has plans for them to sit in their rooms and clean and obey and learn how to respect him. These plans are much more important than any life they may have outside of their quantity time with their dad.


Please note: This exhaustive list of do’s and don’ts is incomplete. As I sink my claws deeper into you and brain wash you and your kids even more towards my twisted views of life, I will add more and more impossible rules. The list for your ex-wife is definitely incomplete. I’ve just started on that one. I will find ways to belittle her through her children and therefore impose rules on her that she will have no control over. I am the master… the master puppeteer and you will obey my every command, my every tug of the string. You will move when I move you. I will do your thinking for you… no need for you to even attempt it. I will pull you out when I need you and tuck you away in your storage box when I don’t. You are my puppet. Don’t forget it!