Breaking Point

I made a horrible mistake. I clicked on her Facebook page completely expecting it to come up and say that I had to be her friend to see her page. It didn't. The first thing I saw was her relationship status: In a relationship.

With the man I love. With the father of my children. With the man I had so many dreams with. So many dreams for. And he doesn't love me.

I've hit breaking point. I've realized that I need some very, very close friends that will be willing to come over or let me call them at any time of the day or night when or if I hit this point again. There is some shame in having to call someone because you just want to end it all. So God please give me the strength to reach out.

How I just made it through my route I really don't know. I repeated words over and over and over and over again so I wouldn't think. So I wouldn't start crying uncontrollably again.

How I'll get through the rest of this day, I don't know. But I can't do this. I just can't do this.